Beating again?

ref

I feel tangled, dazed confused, lost, i can’t find myself in this land of confusion, that the way i fell. I can’t deny mi actions, all that I’ve done, was made with all my knowing, I knew what kind of play I had been played, I play the roulette, I bet in so many numbers knowing that probably I could win only in one. Even that, I play, and play, once, twice, some many times that I can’t remember. Sometimes I thought that I won, but that was only a cheat, I cheated myself and I cheat my principles only trying to feel the things that I felt year before.

Right now, in this empty place, feeling lonely. Alone. I got that from my actions, for being like the way I wanted to be. Acting like a bitch without a heart. I hide my heart so deep and now I can’t find it, and I feel alone for that reason, I want to cry, but I don’t have a heart who drive to. I’m out of senses, like a stone, some days feeling great for my “no heart” status… I don’t feel great, I don’t feel fine.

And, that the point, the final step. Wondering what happened, why the change? Are you calling lost heart, searching inside of me for any sense? Or it’s a new sense of guilt that grows inside of me? What the hell is going on? Why am I feeling bad? Why does my heart feel so bad?

Playing:

Moby – Why does my heart feel so bad

Placebo – Special needs

Depeche Mode – It’s called a heart

Akon - Lonely