December 22, 2005

El Almanaque Pintoresco de Bristol® 2006


Pues si, otro año más… ya son 174 de publicación continúa. Me estoy refiriendo a un objeto mas común en nuestra sociedad que el tomar cerveza.

El almanaque pintoresco de Bristol® un librillo color naranja, que esta presente en mi vida desde que tengo memoria.

Nosotros, que siempre nos quejamos por las inclemencias del clima. –que hoy si llueve, que hoy no llueve… Nunca nos preocupamos por consultar el almanaque Bristol® cuando este “pintoresco objeto contiene todas las predicciones metereológicas para el año que se encuentra por venir.


Pero sin lugar a dudas lo que mas me gusta del almanaque Bristol® es la publicidad que en este se encuentra, es muy “pintoresca”. Por ejemplo, el Tricófero de Barry, no estoy seguro si es un tónico, pero sospecho que es una especie de Roggaine. El cual viene en tres presentaciones: Tradicional (Standard), Con pantenol (para el cabello grasiento) y con pantenol y aceite de castor (para el cabello seco).

¿Alguien alguna vez en su vida ha visto el Tricófero de Barry? ¡Yo no!, pero en mi casa hay un mito que dice mi mama cada vez que se compra el Bristol®: -Su abuelito usaba Tricófero de Barry-. Pues y para que, mi abuelo murió de 85 años y no se cayó el cabello, nada ni siquiera tenia entradas. Creo que el dichos tónico si funciona.


Si no solo de pan vive el hombre, pues el Brístol® no vive de solo tónico también están las colonias de Murray y Lanman. El slogan dice: “mas que una fragancia – una sensación celestial” entre los aromas que se alcanzan a reconocer en la fotico hay flor de naranja, de rosas, de Kananga (no se que es una Kananga, o si Kananga es un quien). Pero bueno L&K esta presente con sus colonias.



También Murray Y Lanman, venden jabones de baño y son promocionados en el Bristol®, de este lugar es perteneciente el famoso jabón de Pacholí, ese olor despectivo que se usa, pues bien, esta presente en estos jabones de baño. Entre otros aromas se encuentran: sándalo, Agua de Florida (¿será agua de los pantanos de la Florida?), Rosas, Sulfuro (sin comentarios…), Reuter (no se que es reuter, ¿será el jabón de la agencia de noticias reuter’s?), Money soap (¿Para que carazos quiere la gente oler a moneda?), se imaginan a Andrea Serna haciendo el comercial

-Yo uso Money soap y me siento muy suave y delicada, mi aroma es tan característico que me siento como lo que soy una….


No se a que horas el señor Lanman abandono al señor Murray, y se asoció con el señor Kemp. Porque paginas posteriores aparece un “popurrí” con los productos de Lanman & Kemp (léase L&K), con una serie de productos cosméticos entre los que incluyen colonias, brillos, jabones y una serie de productos muy coquetos ellos.


Abandonando un poco la publicidad del Bristol®, podemos acercarnos a su contenido: si hay tres eclipses visibles en la región: el primero, un eclipse penumbral de luna, el 14 y 15 de marzo; el segundo, un parcial de luna en septiembre 7; y el tercero, un anular de sol, en septiembre 22. Desde ya les juró y les aseguro que va a estar nublado para cuando vayan a suceder, así que los que tenemos la memoria un eclipse, conformémonos porque este año no se va a ver un carajo.

No soy conservador, pero respeto mucho a un dirigente que murió este año. El señor Emilianni. Tal vez nadie lo conoce por su apellido, pero este congresista pasó una ley hace mucho tiempo, proponiendo que las fiestas se corrieran para que pudiéramos tener puentes festivos y de esta manera salir a descansar cada 20 días en promedio. Pues si les interesa saber: el miércoles de ceniza es en marzo 3 y la semana santa es en abril.

Si alguien sabe que es un computo eclesiástico, por favor hágamelo saber, porque este año la letra dominical es la A, no se si ahora toque decir dominga en vez de domingo, la epacta (cosa que no se que es) es la 30, el numero áureo (perdido en la mala, eso si ni idea) es el XII. Estamos en el ciclo solar numero 27.

Bueno entre los entremeses que trae este año el Bristol® esta el horóscopo del niño prodigio, que ha sido niño prodigio durante los últimos 45 años y se puede consultar en http://www.mundoespiritual.com/, viene también dos poesías, frases celebres de anónimos celebres, la historia de la yuca, una serie de chistes un poco “jocosos” y unos datos curiosos. (Sabían que un rubí perfecto es mas costosos que un diamante perfecto. Si en Tifanny’s supieran esto, la Hepburn no hubiera usado diamantes sino rubíes.

No se si sabían que este almanaque es producido en New York, no impreso, porque la impresión si es made in Caparrapí. El hecho es que rindo mis respetos a un almanaque muy tradicional y que se que cuando oímos hablar de el frente a un abuelito nos vamos a encontrar con historias increíbles, así que viva el Almanaque Pintoresco de Bristol® como medio de culturización social. Nos vemos cuando haga sol (que va a salir en febrero)….

¡Lo se! Llevo mi Almanaque Bristol®.

83 comments:

Pili said...

Juemadre!! Tengo que comprar uno.. nunca en la vida he tenido uno en mis manos..

mokamatu said...

El Bristol... por Dios como no me habia acordado de comprarl¡¡¡ Es el manual del año, desde que tengo uso de razón siempre hubo en casa un ejemplar. Muy buen post... Felicidades.

Coffee Maker said...

Yo jamás he leído uno. Ahora ya pude sabre algo sobre ese almanaque por tu post. :P Saludos don Andrés. :)

El Hermanito said...

Un feliz año para ud tambien, desde la tierra del tamal con chocolate (jaja).

El Da-wei said...

Una reliquia... sí o pa' qué?

Ajá el joven un saludo y gracias x sus saludos.

Un buen año le deseo.

Mucha bala al aire por los buenos Blogs.

Anonymous said...

quisiera saber los santos de 1997 en junio 2 y 3 alguien que tenga el almanaque

Anonymous said...

En Puerto Rico las farmacias regalan el Almanaque Bristol todos los años. Es una tradición. en el pasado, nuestros abuelos usaban el Bristol para bautizar a los niños con el nombre del anto del día de nacimiento.

Anonymous said...

Mi papá tenía un almanaque Bristol y ahora me pusieron a investigar sobre este tradicional librito. ¡GRACIAS POR LA INFORMACIÓN!
¡WOOOOOWWWW ENTONCES ESTE 2008 CUMPLIRÁ 176 AÑOS?

CIPRIANO said...

SI QUIEREN CONOCER ALGO MAS SOBRE EL ALMANAQUE BRISTOL LA EMPRESAS QUE LO DISTRIBUYEN EN COLOMBIA ES BUSINESS AND LOGISTICS EL TEL. ES 4145079.

Berthallydia de Zaldaña said...

tenia muchos años que no sabìa del dichoso almanaque, aunque siempre lo asocio a mi infancia, en donde mi abuela todo lo consultaba en el.
Quisiera saber còmo comprarlo, pues a decir verdad, le tengo mucha credibilidad. Adònde lo venden aquí en El Salvador? En mi niñez lo regalaban en la Farmacia y Drogueria (desaparecida desde hace muchisimos años) de Pedro Valerio Vides.
Espero que alguien me diga adònde lo puedo comprar aquì o en Guatemala. Saludos a todos.

FELIPE FM said...

Muy vacano el Almanaque pinturesco bristol, ak en Colombia todavía los abuelos lo utilizan para remedios caseros me gustaría encontrarlo, no dudaría en comprarlo ni un instante ademas debe ser muy económico

SNAP said...

Siempre me gusto el almaque bristol, pq tenia buenos chistes, pero ultimamente tienen chistes malos, en este año pusieron al maripozon de la walter mercada, seria bacano que regresara el caricaturista de hace 7 años aca en colombia. ahi se ven chafarama

Osvaldo said...

Mi padre lo colecciona desde los sesenta. Creo que lo compra en cualquier farmacia de las tantas que abundan en El Salvador. Aunque también hay gente que lo vende en la calle junto con el libro almanaque Escuela para todos (creo que cuesta un dólar cada uno). Ya tiene una bonita cantidad de ejemplares. Yo creo que lo compra por la información meteorológica, muy confiable por cierto. Aunque otra lindura es la tragicomedia en ocho cuadros, distribuida a lo largo del librillo, cuadro por cuadro. Pero no estoy seguro de que siga saliendo la tal tragicomedia, una lástima. Prometo comprarme uno un día de estos y les confirmo los detalles. Pero papá nunca lo usó para reventarnos de vergüenza con los nombres del santoral, si así fuera yo debería de llamarme Inocente y no Osvaldo.
De hecho, como un homenaje a papá, estoy escribiendo un libro de poemas que se llama El coleccionista de Bristol

Buen post, amigo.

Osvaldo.
parqueoparasombrillas,blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

La kananga es el Ylang ylang, un arbusto que da racimos de flores blancas que huelen exactamente igual que la colonia de kananga, delicioso.

Saludos

Anonymous said...

En mi casa el almanaque Bristol es una tradición mi padre siempre lo consigue, para ver cuando hay luna llena, nueva o no sé que mas, acá en Colombia hay una frase muy conocida que dice: "Mas mentiroso que el almanaque Bristol" aún no sé porque si mucha gente dice que sus redicciones son correctas.

Del Tricofero de Barry les puedo decir que sí funciona, mi padre lo comenzó a usar a los 20 años por que se le estaba cayendo el cabello, hoy tiene 54 y aún lo usa, su cabellos está muy bien (nada de caída) y no tiene canas, es muy bueno por los demás productos no los conosco.

Anonymous said...

Esta publicacion anual es interesante, y tiene un toque de tradicion como de esas cosas que uno siempre recuerda de los buenos y viejos tiempos...saludos desde PR.

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